Tomorrow we will have had our foster baby for five weeks. Doesn’t seem like very long does it? These weeks have been packed with doctors appointments, cps visits, agency visits, an insane amount of phone time, court visits, and still having and needing to maintain normalcy for our children. Several people have asked us if we still homeschool….um, yes baby is only a month old, while we needed to iron out a new schedule and I am a bit more bleery eyed as the school bell rings we are trekking on.

The day we were brought baby bug we were told that two of his siblings were in a home they would likely be removed from. We were told they would ask us if no other suitable home was found in a kinship type relationship. Bill and I looked at each other and we have been adamant that we would not take these two other children for a variety of reasons.

Yesterday was another court hearing. I admit I have not been to court. As it stands my husband will not allow me to go, it is his way of protecting my heart and for that I am grateful. In court we learned of the status on some of baby bug’s siblings. Two of them will be removed soon from the current home they are in. While mom has to supply a list of people she would like to be considered the reality of it is that they will probably go into the system. Bill told me that after sitting in court there was no way he could send them into the system.

Could we be that selfish? Could our own desires to adopt internationally stand in the way of us protecting part of a family unit? Could our own fears of what the nine year old has seen, had done to her, and her knowledge stand in the way of us not trusting the Lord?  After hearing how many times these precious babies have moved around and been ripped from one home to another, could we truly say no?

We both cried, I sobbed crying out to the Lord for clarity. My brand spankin’ new Yukon XL only seats seven, we don’t have enough room for 8, how could we do this? Then from somewhere inside I was reminded that the 9 year old would be in school during the day and I could still run all my errands, doctors appointments, etc with the remaining five who would be home with me and if we all needed to go somewhere Bill would be home after five.  While I worried away at home my husband talked to someone we know who owns a 15 passenger van and asked if he would consider selling it or at the very least renting it to us if we needed it. Needless to say he gave us a price that we could afford. Transportation is no longer an issue.

Now we have our heart issues left. I have to surrender, I have to give it ALL to Him and trust in Him and His will for our lives. Whether these precious children are meant to be part of our family or not only He knows, but it appears to us that He very well may be paving the path for our family to grow to a party of 8 in the coming days.

We are asking the Lord would give us perfect peace for our family plans. We know He gave us both a passion for India. Our hearts ache for the 35 million children waiting for a mom and dad to love and hug them and the beautiful people of India. We wish we could see onto the other side of this journey and know what He has in store for us.

For now we are praying and kneeling our way thru this journey knowing he hears.